What does it take to make you feel at home? That was the icebreaker question we asked the trainees at a recent intro to member care session. Because feeling at home, well it’s a sign that you’re starting to settle.
One of the guys said for it to be home he had to have free access to snacks. That answer has stuck with me—free access—isn’t that what home is about? A place where you don’t have to ask for where the food it, you can freely go and get it.
When people come for debriefing we show them around. Here is the bathroom, this is how the electric shower works. Here is the wifi password. The coffee mugs are in this cabinet. Sometimes we add that we are very relaxed Americans so just….’Make yourself at home’.
It’s a little phrase that just rolls off the tongue. And everyone interprets it differently. Because making a home and feeling at home is a personal unique thing. For some it means that they freely read books off the shelves—or even rearrange the shelves. Some might even take a book with them and post it back later—just like they would do if they were at their parents house, at home.
It also means than no room is out of bounds. Yes home has a boundary, a building, a town, a country. But when I say, ‘make yourself at home.’ Most take it to mean they can put their snacks in the fridge, sit on the sofa with us and snuggle with the dog.
I guess it’s another way of saying relax. Because that’s what we do at home. We also do it in places that ‘feel like home.’ Sometimes that’s the home of a good friends. Sometimes that a place that feels safe. Sometimes its the place with the right snacks.
What makes you feel at home? Is it the decor, the colours and smells? Or is it the people you share a place with? Or is it the safety and freedom of the space? Take some time to find an answer. This is important because a sense of ‘home’ is tied up with belonging and rest.
How do you know that you belong? What does rest look like? I think the answers to these questions all intersect with ‘home’.
When we venture far, maybe to the other side of the world and learn the ways of a new culture, at first there is an unease, perhaps internal tension. Learning new ways takes energy. And so does the work of ‘settling’, of carving out new spaces and routines. But this energetic work bears fruit. And that fruit is belonging, home—a place to rest—and find the snacks.